Sunday, August 5, 2012

3 Keys to Significant Transformation

This weekend I posted a question on Facebook that was sparked while reading Martha Beck's book, Finding Yourself in a Wild New World. 

"Everyone was born to have a significant role in the world. What's yours?"

There were many moving responses:

"To be a wife and mother," said Lori.
"Passion... for life, love and for animals," said Renae.
"To be a mother!" said Brianna.
"To make a difference in childrens' lives....that's why I was destined to be a teacher, and hopefully a mommy in the near future," said Carmen.
"To make people laugh," said Ryan.
"I think that it could be just to be there. As a resource to loved ones. A shoulder to cry on, or a helping hand when someone stumbled. I don't know yet what I am supposed to do here, but I enjoy helping others...," said Mike.
"I suppose at this point in my life it would be to provide the help of a families dream with a comfortable place to live and call home," said Anthony.
"Lead a healthy, meaningful, fun life," said Prabal.   

I spent the day evaluating my own role in the world. here was my conclusion: 

"My role is to be a transformational spirit 
and help others transition to places they wish they could be."

I've made, remade and remade my life over and over. Every remake has made this better and better. Positive transformation has all come down to three things:

Key #1: Be as authentic to yourself as possible.

Being authentic doesn't mean being an asshole. It just means I know my limits, my passions and I am comfortable doing them, even if I am the only one who enjoys it. There have been many times that something I was doing or an opinion wasn't popular. For example, I spent 1 full yer living like a Bohemian at a boat marina. The only things I permitted myself to have was a bed, painting materials and writing materials. I had a yoga mat, a meditation pad and books to read. That. Was. It.  The purpose of it was digging deep into my being and pulling out the treasure inside. As well as where to go next.

Key #2: Treat yourself well.

What good can I possible do, if I don't take care of myself first?  Like a cup of love, overflowing, I can only be a blessing to others when my cup is full. Who's responsibility is it to keep my cup full?  It's not my Mom's, or my brother's or my boyfriend's responsibility. It's mine. I love time with my family and friends and their support is something I appreciate a great deal, but I keep my cup as full as I can on my own.

How do I accomplish this? I do things that make me happy. I take time to enjoy a good meal, or laugh at a tv show. Dance in the rain or blast music, singing at the top of my lungs. I routinely listen to music no one else I've ever met enjoyed and take long, cleansing showers. I take baths with lavender and spearmint. I watch the sunrise and enjoy the feeling of a warm cup of coffee or tea in my hand. I hug my friends close, and compliment the things I love about them. I also compliment myself throughout the day.

Ultimately, I try to be my very best friend.

Key #3: Let Things Go That No Longer Serve You

Sometimes, people, activities or places have run their course and it's time to move on. Making room for things that no longer serve you, opens up the necessary space to allow better things to come.

Change is never comfortable and can be quite painful. It doesn't have to be dramatic or hurtful, just an embrace. A bit of mourning and grief if you must. Then set it free.

For example, I have a very dear friend. She is someone I discovered a great deal of life's most incredible mysteries. Since that time we have gone off to have adventures on our own and have grown apart. I know she still cares for me. As I care for her. However, I don't feel as though I've been a big enough priority for her. Those I consider the closest of friends, I hold dear and consider there to be mutual love and participation on behalf of both people in the relationship.  A distance between us has grown, and I have a choice. I could either reach out, or let it go.

In this circumstance, I've chosen to let it go. The relationship doesn't appear to serve either one of us. I send her on her way with love. There are no hard feelings, there is no drama. It's not personal. There is peace within. I take one long last look. Smile. Give her a sad embrace. Send her along on the journey that is intended for her.

Space been created and not one but two new friends have joined me on this journey. These friend would not have appeared had I not created that space. For that time would have been spent chasing the previous.

The same thing happens with significant others, health, spirit and adventure.

Clearing a broken relationship and creating space gives you the opportunity to begin a new one. Creating the space to exercise and work out grants a healthier lifestyle usually coupled with better sleep, more energy and general well-being.Creating time for spirit or meditation reveals truths, wisdom and knowledge not otherwise discovered. Creating time for an adventure, gives your mind, heart, soul and spirit permission to have one.  

In closing, I'd like to leave you with a message that was provided to me during a meditation recently.

"Wisdom comes from participation in life. Not just reading about it."

Cheers to authenticity, kissing yourself on the hand and shaking the ripe fruit off your tree,

RockStar Jessi