Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Purposeful Tears

It is not the first time. My boyfriend came home; and I was in tears. Alarmed, he asked what was wrong. It took me a while before I could answer his question, other than, "nothing bad, nothing bad."

I have been writing poetry all my life. There is part of me that never thought it would ever become my purpose. Growing up, I'd envisioned my purpose would have something to do with working hard, striving to be the best at something and delivering a mighty purpose that was intended for me all my life.

Poetry is something that has been with me all my life, as demonstrated by Life, Love and Inspiration: A Book of Poetry. In some ways, I was disappointed in that display of my work. It definitely was my poetry, but from adolescence as well as early adulthood. 

Much of what I wrote then, has very little to do with what is possible now.  Today, it's almost as though angels speak to me through words in my mind. Both in times of trouble and in times of growth. Even in times of peace. Yet at the same time, the process of free verse is both refreshing and emotionally cleansing. It provides a huge release to keep me balanced. 

The world would gage the time I spent on deciphering my purpose as overkill. Particularly since it's literally been in front of my face for my entire life. 

As it turns out, my purpose is more peaceful, calm, tranquil and harmonious than I'd ever envisioned. It is my personal opinion, even the smallest and slightest of purposes is admirable. That opinion finds my circumstances a touch ironic. An individual with a hand in everything, as in my case, it's almost more difficult to scale down and focus on something more calm and refreshing.

Each time I sit to write, the words just come. I'm not even entirely convinced they are my words. Yet they are words that are coming through me for a purpose. It will be exciting to share the finished compilation of my most recent poetry book project, Avenged. In the future, I'll be delighted to share some of the process of writing poetry as it works for me.

Sometimes, I am so touched by the beautiful discoveries within this process, I find myself in tears.